The Bandit and Zorro's Revenge!

Hah! I've got him now! He'll not see me off again! For now I have a strategy that works and is worthy of the lowest and most venomous creatures that creep upon the surface of the earth!

The strategy is complex and devious and all that good stuff. It needs low cunning, and an unsuspecting victim, but most of all it needs luck in industrial quantities. Sadly, I also think that this is why my strategy stinks.

You see, I had been stuck in presentations all day, watching the sun stream down outside. The day of sunshine ended with a ferocious thunderstorm that drowned my plans for Stone Farm that evening. It also lulled the Bandit into a false sense of security. He also claimed exhaustion following a hard day's work. But, and this is where my strategy gets clever, the sun came out in spades next and all the rain dried up and by the time I was ready to go, everyone else was down at the wall! So I called him up and said 'How about Stone Farm' and he said 'OK' and that was his undoing.

He arrived, knackered and laden with a stomach-full of curry. I arrived with two crap dogs for security (just in case). The dogs wagged their tails and said 'Orright then, mate' and made the Bandit feel loved.

So first route of the day, solo up, nice and smooth – feels OK. Then he suggests Chipperydoodah. Oh hell – this is where it all goes wrong, for I cannot do Chipperydoodah, never have and never will. Except this time. And a second time, just to check I wasn't dreaming.

With a hiss of air brakes the next consignment of luck was delivered. What's the route to the left? Don't know, let's give it a go. So we're nattering and he's not concentrating and he makes a hash of it all. Then I have a go and concentrate and it all falls into place. Then he has another go and gets a bit of most unhelpful advice but scrapes up nevertheless – and then the awful truth hits him! He, the Bandit, has been sandbagged! And as if that was not bad enough, one more rehearsal and the route is soloed. And then the true gravity of his position is laid bare – not only has he been sandbagged, but the sandbagger will no doubt write it all up in this august journal, much embellished with scant regard for the truth! Appalled and resigned, he even suggested the title.

Adrian