Spring is sprung,

The grass is riz,

I wonder where the Bandit is…….

Well, he's at Stone Farm, of course, and he got there before me, and has got everything wired again.

Hah! But this year I have a secret weapon: I have a new dog. I had a dog last year, but that was a crap dog that fell down holes at Harrison's and got stuck. This is a ferocious, killer dog that will make the Bandit sick with fear!

"Come on then, dogs! Let's go and catch a Bandit" Look, there's one (it was Mark). "RARF!" said little dog. Sadly, the new dog is also a crap dog and has not yet learnt to bark. "GRRRR!" said little dog – she's a lot better at growling. She cottoned on fast – Bandits everywhere, "GRRR, GRRR!" Then she got fed up with being stroked and got a sore throat from growling (I told you she was a crap dog) and went off to have fun. Even Laura, who's only little, decided that she was a crap dog and was not to be feared. And that left me at the mercy of the Bandits.

This wasn't supposed to happen again. Oh well, let's give it a go. Up a bit, down a bit, wobble a bit, and up. I couldn't remember a single move of that from last year – oh well, back to Square One. What are the Bandits up to? Oh look! They are trying to break their legs – What fun! Chipadeedoodah: you know, the one with the gnarly boulder at the bottom.

"Are you going to have a go, Adrian?"

"How many F's are there in 'Go away'?" - you don't catch me that easily; slippery as an eel in olive oil, me - when I'm awake.

So, Mark made about six moves, solo, to the top. Very impressive. Then Stewart made about two moves to the top. Very depressing. Then it got strangely competitive. James ticked the one to the right and had a character-building moment near the top. Stewart missed out the character-building bit. Mark decided his character was well-enough developed. My character joined my get-up-and-go which got-up-and-went.

Fortunately, it was getting dark now. I borrowed Mark's mat and tried my up a bit, down a bit thing. "Sorry, mate, I need my mat now". Oh great, this is getting beyond a joke now. Run away! Looks like I've got a bit of catching up to do – I might just have my act together by November. Maybe my crap dog will have learnt how to bite by then, too. That should even things up a bit.

Adrian