Well I overslept and I thought, feck, I'm in trouble! What do I do now? Ginny the dog was not coming along on the trip so first things first, take her out for a mad dash and stick throwing session. Good job my sack was packed and er, food? I'll grab something on the way (fatal). The A25 was not at all busy so off I speed. Amazing the power you can get out of a Citroen AX. Well I needn't have bothered. Our driver for the day was late, so I could relax and regret dashing out the door without my oatcakes! Hmmm.

It was a pleasant drive I'm sure but I can't remember. I was awake but I can't remember. I stepped out of the car and was struck by how hot it was, that I remember. Its this way, says Rob. Oh. Good, downhill. Grumble, grumble. The anticipated bacon butty had not materialised and I had no flask. Tut. Well, was not going to get any sympathy from the others, so off I stomp. The grumpiness soon lifted as I progressed down towards the cliff top. Fantastic!

To those of you in the know, well perhaps all of you, Subliminal is a good area for a variety of grades, v difs to e numbers, which were the collective aim. I paired off with Sue, who was very happy to second me on anything severe and below but no harder! Hmmm. Right, well lets get cracking then. Are we still here? Chink, chink. Don't you just love that sound? Sue and I did a good job on the ice breaking bit, well, she soon got used to my wittering. Er, she'd be the silent type so we worked quite well together really. In fact, Sue made me realise just how much I do witter on. Sorry guys.

Bypass first, severe, straightforward. An enjoyable warm up. Took a tad longer than I thought to complete the lead, this was because of a party of three climbing beside us on High Street. An instructor and his two protégés ticking off their first climb of the day. After some chit-chat (well, you gotta be sociable!), it would seem he knew Harrisons quite well having lived in Tunbridge Wells for some years. Anyway, I brought Sue up and she a bit worried, she had difficulty getting the gear out. This made me smile. Practice, I says. Hmmm, she says, looking at her knuckles…..they were all bombers, she said! Ah well, you see, I like that theory, says I. Next, Gangway. Another severe, but with a bit more character I thought. Yeah, right! Within one minute, in goes the first bit of gear. This route has had a bit of traffic judging by its stunningly polished appearance. Phew, wish I wasn't such a shortarse! How many times have you heard me say that? Yes well, more character indeed and just nice climbing, I enjoy limestone.! Sat at the top of the cliff, I saw a few more arrivals heading our way. Oh, getting a bit busy then (well I know what Jen would say, heh-heh), hurry up then Sue!

Now I did not mention earlier that I was climbing with an injury. A bad back/shoulder blade had been plaguing me for a few days. Hadn't a notion how I did it, but I was coping quite well, actually I was thinking what a big jessie I was – nothing wrong with me. The others in the party came to join us for a bit to eat (bit being the operative word in my case). Avernus was the talk of the town, and it was decided that I would second it later on – a route not to be missed? Ha!

Second Crack was on our agenda so Sue and I went off, so keen that we both abseiled down forgetting our rope! Doh! Not going to mention the colour of Sue's hair……. Anyway, a nice young man came to our rescue and we proceeded along to our spot. We had a bit of company, some guys decided that Frieda was next for them, think it was a classic someone said? Now the aspect of our climb was a bit exposed, and Sue decided that she would like some gear in. Once comfortable, I began. Gosh, atmospheric. This route made me think a bit more than the others, and sweat – the second on the route next to us decided that my foot was the perfect hand hold or grab, which he did. Feck! Who's that, I said. Sorry he said. Don't do that again, exclaimed I (overcome with the urge to swear). Ok, a muffled voice replied. He was struggling, so I had to be nice. But he did it again! God, do ya mind! I said, well in a louder voice. Sorry, he said again. No harm to the guy, but I thought this was just a bit out of order. He was off route, I was placing a very important piece of gear (aren't they all important?) and he decided that dislodging my strategically placed foot was a grand idea! Who can mistake my size threes for jugs? Best move up, away from his intrusive hands. I reached up (nice flake), ooh yeeeees, twang! Aw ****. I thought, oh no!! A very warm sensation suddenly emerged in my shoulder blade region which made me breathe in very, very sharply. Ah! Now then. After some chat with Sue and another, a rope was kindly offered and gratefully accepted. Mind you, I could barely stop myself from yelling as I finished the rest of the route. My ability to reach up with my right arm had disappeared, yes it was an interestingly unstylish finale. I was ushered over to a pile of ruc sacks for some first aid attention, grumbling all the way.

Whilst my mini epic was happening, one of our group had taken a fall. He was placing his first bit of protection on Gangway, and fell. It happens. A decision was taken to call the coastguard. They appeared quickly and dealt with the situation very well. Think they may have been through this exercise before, sobering thought. The chopper came in, winched our friend out and we spent the rest of the afternoon in Poole Hospital. A broken elbow, a shaky ego and a dozen or so cuts & bruises later, we sat in the Kings Inn mulling over the day. The conversation flowed, but there was an unspoken eagerness to be on the road back home. Needless to say, I was quiet on the return, yes now there's a first! What a day. Perhaps Avernus next time…….

Louise